There are many reasons why this happens, the first of which is supply and demand. Now if a bunch of people are all on an island, your perception of attractiveness is going to be based on who is available. But when you move into places like the U.S. where many different people are in a small area, this all changes.
Asian women are simply expanding their views, and instead of only dating Asian men, they are dating many different types of men. So it’s only natural for it to look as if they don’t spend much time dating Asian men.
Now when you think of the fact that many countries of the world are still dominated by men, is it any wonder why women would prefer men who grow up believing that men and women are equals? If a woman is attractive, and knows how to treat a man, she will likely have many options.
So anyone, male or female would start to weed out the less impressive or favorable options. This means the bar will be continually be raised.
Another important issue that explains this phenomenon is racism. Yes, many will claim they are not racist, but most people have some set of assumptions we have on people. Sure, we know everyone is an individual, but these assumptions serve as a starting point.
The assumptions surrounding Asian men is that they view women more as property, have a too small penis, and generally have a more soft small body (as opposed to large and masculine).
Now when many cultures move to a new country they like to pass down their beliefs to their children. So, while not all Asian men have the beliefs that women are there to serve men, some do. Remember, stereotypes come from somewhere! The small penis remark is a funny one as women look for every possible cue to indicate the size of a man’s package.
Men don’t exactly put it on display the same way women have their cleavage in plain sight. The view that Asian men generally have a softer feminine body type, isn’t completely true, and isn’t completely false either. Asian men are generally considered to have smaller and often more soft and sometimes feminine features.
No, I’m not saying they look like women, well, not where it counts. But, things like broad shoulders, strong hands, and a masculine face are all things women look for.
So, with this in mind, black men tend to be considered exotic to many Asian women. Asian women, appear as an ideal to most men. Asian women are often small, with a very modern feminine look. Today the idea of a beautiful feminine woman is small with an hour glass figure.
And no this isn’t just hearsay. Research has been done that shows no matter what men want in a woman, the curves that are part of the hour glass shape is very desirable. Women on the other hand look for men who have traits that dictate power, and the ability to take care of her and her offspring.
We’ve all seen how one of the quickest things women put on their list is height!
So, as an Asian man, all is not lost. You’re doing yourself a disservice if you’re trying to look and appear as others do. Women will naturally become attracted to you when you give off an aura of power, confidence, and intelligence. So mold yourself into the vision of the man who forges his own destiny, and makes himself into what he wants.
Now of course there are certain things that make a man appear more masculine.
But if you take care of your health and appearance, and have a confidence about you, one deep look into her eyes will simply melt her!
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9:44 pm on June 17th, 2011
Your article mentions that asian women can look elsewhere outside the asian men area. However, MANY asian women in an online dating site will exclusively “Prefer” white men. They simply and instantly write off asian men. This is so common; this is very hurtful. For the sake of argument; its easier to point something that is online.
You can check under craigslist, women seek men. Many will that identified as asian female will seek the Caucasian male or won’t mention race at all.
10:12 pm on June 19th, 2011
After living in the West for some time, Asian women always tend to look down on Asian men. That’s just a fact. They probably hate to see the same flat nose, gook’s eyes, high cheekbones and black hair they seem to hate so much be mirrored back in their face.
Yes, we don’t have blue eyes, blond hair, fine nose and white skin, sorry for that.
6:11 am on June 22nd, 2011
There’s a lot to things to consider about Asian men. Most of us are shy. Yes we want long relationship by listening to our parent when they say American women don’t make good wife. Most will care n listen. Stereotype is a major reason why we are shy. We feel like we are no good enough. I have many Asian men who are single n will be for a while. If u want a male Asian u gotta make him feel desirable n others. Show him that you are a long time relation type of girl. If you do anything to hurt his man hood n others then most Likely he think of leaving you. Stereotype had made things harder. I see slots lot if pretty girls but won’t approach first. I can care less if I loose the change. It’s better than getting my feeling hurt. Everybody talk to truth about Asian men but never feel what they feel. Asian amercian are shy about we feel unwanted by stereotype.
7:42 pm on July 23rd, 2011
This is Masa.
What I feel contradiction about the view of female toward men is that like this article says women don’t like men complain or their negativity.
Of course I do understand that however just think of how many times women complain about their daily life. it’s too much. So women don’t have any right to say men can’t complain or anything like that. So I am understanding this article as men shouldn’t complain things seriously. If they want to complain things, it will be better if they do with some sense of humor. Regardless of gender, we are human thus it’s quite normal to talk about daily comlaint. Alos complaing about daily like could prosper one’s life and relationship with friends or other people too. So my opinion is tht it is ok to complain however the way you complain is the key. Like all the elements written on the article, men should complain with sense of humor and not disrespecting others. Then women will also understand men and be attracted by men.
1:21 pm on September 20th, 2011
I am a westernized Asian female that has dated various races. While I am more attracted to the physical qualities of a Caucasian man, I also appreciate the attributes of other races, and at the end of the day, there has to be substance in a relationship. The problem I have with dating an Asian man is that they seldom initiate any interest… I am tri-lingual and still retain remnants of my Asian culture. Given the choice of dating an Asian man who shuns his own culture or a non-Asian, I’d prefer a non-Asian. Ideally, I’d like someone similar to myself who is culturally aware of his heritage and at least bilingual. In the past, I have dated Asian Canadian, a FOB Asian, black, white, indian, middle-eastern, european, etc… My last relationship was with a Caucasian that was culturally aware of Asian cultures and spoke mandarin.
I think if Asian men made more of an effort in how they present themselves and took some initiative, more women would date them. Personally speaking, most Asian men tend to not be interested in me as they think I am too ‘westernized’ for their tastes, whatever that means.
7:46 pm on October 29th, 2012
Asian women who refuse to date Asian men do so because they’ve fully bought into the part of White Supermacist ideology that states that White men are better partners than men of any other race.
No, Asian women are not being open-minded by refusing to date Asian men because they’re not only counting out Asian men, but they are very likely to also be excluding Black, Latino, and Indian men as well. There’s nothing “open-minded” about dating exclusively White, which is what most, if not all, non-Asian-dating Asian women do.
It’s ridiculous to think that only Asian women are somehow able to assimilate into Western culture, but Asian men are forever bound to their ancient Confucian beliefs. This is just an excuse that some Asian women give to lend respectability and sympathy to their White-exclusive ways.
The vast majority of Asian-American men are not sexist. If you want to see true sexism in the United States, go check out the White men in the Republican Party.
I find it embarrassingly hypocritical that some Asian women write off all Asian men as sexists, but they keep giving White guys chance after chance even after numerous Asiaphile encounters.
In the end, this is all about maximizing social value. Asian men are near the bottom, and White men are near the top. Some Asian women have realized that White men are quite attracted to them and are trying to move up the social ladder by shunning Asian men. Simple as that.