We don’t want to be fixed
So many guys still don’t seem to get this one. Men like to fix things. They love their projects. Women don’t want to be one of your projects. When we are upset or have a problem, all we want is you to listen! We don’t want you to tell us how we could have done things differently, or tell us what to do about the situation, or for you to start meddling.
We want you to nod your heads and pay attention and make comments that let us know you’re listening. Instead of starting in with the analyzing or offering to knock someone’s head in for us, show you’ve understood what we’re feeling.
You can ask if there’s anything you can do to help and if there is, we’ll let you know! If we’re upset, hug us! If we’re angry, let us vent without interruption. A good listener is always appreciated!
We think about sex a lot too
Men have always been the ones notoriously known for their tendency to focus a lot of their thinking on sex. Guess what? We women think about it a lot, too. We love to fantasize about our partners, about liaisons together that really got us going, about fantasies we may like to try out and even ones we’re not so sure we’d ever like to act out.
We have rich imaginations like to indulge in “naughty” thinking, whether when we’re alone in the bedroom, in the shower or tub, or even in boring meetings!
Lingerie does very little for us
We love the reaction us wearing it gets from you but that’s what makes us feel sexy, not the lace or satin or leather. Push-up bras and lace riding up our butts can be frankly uncomfortable at times! And when you guys wear those goofy ouches or other such “male lingerie”? Awfully hard sometimes to keep a straight face when we encounter such things!
We hate when you wave off our moods as “that time of month” or because we “need to get some”
Yes, sometimes hormones play a role, sometimes even a big one. But guess what, YOU guys have mood swings, too, and no one ever shrugs it off, suggesting it’s because of the particular lunar phase, or if it’s been a little while since you got horizontal.
Whether our moods are hormone induced, caused by a lot of stress or because of a specific incident, none of that changes what we’re feeling and it really bugs us when you downplay our feelings as somehow less than real. Acknowledge what we’re feeling, even if you don’t understand the why.
Don’t throw out excuses for our moods, or suggest they are somehow less than valid, but be ready to listen to why we’re telling you we feel this way. We’ll get over our mood more quickly if you grant us that respect.
Little things can be just as important as the big ones
We don’t assign points to gifts and gestures the way men tend to. A bouquet of wildflowers bought for us on the anniversary of a loved one’s passing means as much as a dozen roses on our birthday. Giving us your jacket to wear on chilly day when we forgot ours can be as good as you buying us a new leather coat for Christmas.
Bringing a cup of coffee or tea up to us in bed in the morning is as charming as being taken out for dinner for a special occasion. In fact, little things that show you pay attention to our likes and wants mean more to us than bigger ones of “commonly accepted” romantic gestures.
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