There are a wide variety of reasons why people get rejected. For the most part there is a large overlap between why men and women reject each other. Of course men and women aren’t identical, but we are VERY similar.
Women don’t like to be treated like a piece of meat (sexually), just like men don’t like to be treated like a piece of meat (marriage). Now of course these 2 things are important and heavily desired by men and women, but we all want to feel like the person wants us, more than the goal of sex or marriage.
So, here are some of the major reasons why people are getting rejected.
1. Too outspoken
Now honesty is a great thing, in small bites. Think about your daily interactions and how things might go if you were 100% honest every minute of the day? Not pretty is it? But at the same time I’m not suggestion you lie to people either.
We just have to be careful about what we say, and how much we say. Typically a person who talks on and on about themselves will be a turn off to both men AND women. This also applies to being too crude or critical about others. It always comes across between when you try and put a positive spin on things.
2. “Nice guys finish last”
We’ve all heard this before. But what does it mean? If you’re thinking you have to be a jerk to get women’s attention, then you’ve missed the boat. Don’t worry ladies. This message applies to you as well. Nice in this context means someone who is too nice, a pushover.
Someone like this will do for others always before themselves and thus relationships are unbalanced. They are always the giver and never give an opportunity for others to give. These people also often choose needy people to interact with because they feel better about themselves by giving.
There needs to be balance. Women won’t respect a man who they can walk all over, and without respect there won’t be any chemistry. We’ve seen this happen many times before. There’s a guy who’s very generous and good to his friends and family, wonderful father, but for some reason the wife isn’t satisfied and wants to find someone else.
Giving only goes so far and if both aren’t giving, then things will fall out of balance. It’s only natural to take advantage of and abuse things when they make themselves too readily available. When was the last time you were thankful for a breath of air?
What does this mean for women? How can women be too nice? It’s great to laugh at a man’s jokes and make him feel like a man, but there is such a thing as too much. By giving a man everything and always being the giver, you may become his bread ad butter. But, eventually he’s going to say, “where’s the beef?”
3. Being direct (or lack of)
Being too direct can definitely be a problem. Women enjoy subtlety and being teased. If you’re too direct it can be off putting and appear too cocky or arrogant. Give a woman the time to consider the possibility before you step to the plate.
It may not always be best to immediately say how attractive you find a woman, and then ask for her number so you can take her out. She’s literally had no time to think about it, and you haven’t really left her with anything. So guess what? You will be getting a fake number, or none at all.
You want to have a light, humorous conversation. It always leaves a great impression when you have a conversation with someone you just met, and the two of you just click. This would be an ideal time to ask for a number or some way to contact her so you can get together some time.
You’ve already established some level of comfort and at this point things could lead to a friendship or something more. So it will leave her guessing.
A lack of directness can be something that women are at fault of. Things are always best when they follow a natural flow. But if the man you’re interested in isn’t quite following you, it will only help to clue him in. Sure a bit of subtlety and teasing is wonderful.
But if a man doesn’t meat your expectations because he isn’t aware of them, he’s more likely reject you. He may very well have love what you had in mind, but if you want him to read your mind, you’re better off calling the psychic hotline.
4. The initiative
Taking the initiative is something women always complain men don’t do enough of. Women want you to step up to the plate, have been paying attention, and make a good solid decision. Women want a leader, not a follower, and a good leader can make decisions as well as listen to the group, and show them that their input is valuable. The other side of this is being receptive and encouraging this behavior.
Like all things if someone is positive, receptive and encourages you to do well, you’ll put your best foot forward. The same holds true for men in this instance. If you find that men don’t take enough initiative then you should encourage them to do so.
Many men like to feel that they are doing right by their family. They want to support their women, and know they are steering the ship, and doing a good job. Now while a captain is important on a ship, what use is he without his crew?
So, if you want your man to take more initiative, you should be more receptive and supportive to it. People are only human and make mistakes. So when he leads and doesn’t get things right, you can still let him know you had a good time, while making sure he knows what you like and would want to try in the future.
Communication is key. When a leader, and those they lead are in constant communication, they are well aware of each other’s needs. This allows the captain to make well informed choices, and also allows the crew to support him even when his choices are not perfect.
So, if you find yourself getting angry or upset at men, when their leadership skills fall short, do you really expect him to get back up and do a better job? Remember, leadership (and initiative) is not just about the captain, but the ability of captain and crew to work well together, and have a balanced relationship.
This comes as no surprise. Desperation turns everyone off, men and women. When desperate you’re more inclined to do whatever it takes to succeed. The qualities men and women find attractive in each other typically spell out a person who is in a situation to have or find many options, which is the exact opposite of desperate.
Desperation usually has the tendency to give someone a lack of confidence, extreme nervousness, being too nice (remember the nice guy?), and appear less attractive (among many other things. On the other side many overcompensate for these short comings, and this also is a turn off. When you’re at a place in your life where you’re happy and enjoying yourself people naturally enjoy being with you, because they want a taste.
If you’re feeling down because life is too harsh without a man or woman in your life, this will naturally bring others down as well. So learning about yourself and doing what makes you happy goes far beyond dating advice, it’s something that will enrich your whole life as well as those around you!
6. They’re taken!
Not much you can do in this situation. Sometimes the person you desire is already in a relationship. If you really liked the person your best bet would be to honestly get to know them as a friend.
7. Bad timing!
Sometimes the timing just isn’t good. The person may appear very attractive at first glance but could be having a lot of problems that day or just at that particular point in their life. This is definitely not a good time to start a relationship. Not only are they not ready for you, and the relationship, but you shouldn’t be too eager about starting one with someone in this situation either.
8. You’re just not their type
You’re just not their type. We all have some sort of preference when it comes to the type of person we find attractive, that’s no secret. Women typically prefer men to be tall, or taller than they are (6 foot is a common desire for a man’s height).
Men are typically attracted to a woman with curved or an hour glass shape. Now the size of those curves can vary from individual to individual, but most men agree to finding attraction in those curves. There are a whole host of other things we find attractive in others. Many of these things you can’t do much about, while others we do have some control over.
9. Lost opportunity
This happens when we’re too scared or nervous to approach or make our intentions known to the person. This can be with someone we haven’t met, or someone we’ve known for a long time. But a HUGE reason for not finding someone is because it’s so much easier to chicken out, and walk away rather than put ourselves on the line and make an approach.
This is not something that just happens once in a while. It happens more often than not. Think 80% of the time or more. It’s no surprise women don’t approach as much as men. It’s just easier to let men do the approaching. We already expect and teach men to approach. So if a woman doesn’t have a date, it’s because men aren’t approaching anymore.
Well things have changes and women are now starting to realize missed opportunities by relying on men to take the initiative. And if you think about it, if men and women are both asking each other out with high frequency everyone would have a lot more opportunities to find someone. So even though it doesn’t feel like it at the moment. A rejection is often better than an opportunity lost. You can’t always win, but at least you tried!
10. Body Language and physical contact
This is as important as anything else. No one likes someone who comes on too fast, unless you’re just looking for a real good time tonight. However, no one likes a cold fish either. Men and women are both responsible for the amount and frequency of physical contact and the kind of body language they show. These things give us a clue to the kind of person you’re talking to, as well as how interested they are.
This is about listening, observing and responding. When we slowly ease our way closer to someone, it shows interest without being overzealous. This is the green light for both men and women. If the person you’re with is doing this and you’re interested, it’s time to reciprocate.
Something else that’s important to note is how nervous the person is feeling. Both men and women get nervous, but if you can tell the person likes you, and you’re interested in the type of person they are you will only stand to benefit by helping them relax and open up.
We always like others who make us feel more comfortable, so by helping someone come out of their shell will likely increase their attraction for you!
A lot of success can be had by listening and paying attention to people. A lot of times we give out signals that give simple hints as to how well things are going. Also, a lot of rejection and bad moments can be avoided if we simply communicate more, are more receptive, as well as supportive of the person we’re with. Think how it feels to be on the opposite side of the situation. A little encouragement can go a long way!
Above all relax, and have fun. When you’re having a good times, others want to join the fun!