10 Reasons Why You’re Getting Rejected

BunnyThere are a wide variety of reasons why people get rejected. For the most part there is a large overlap between why men and women reject each other. Of course men and women aren’t identical, but we are VERY similar.

Women don’t like to be treated like a piece of meat (sexually), just like men don’t like to be treated like a piece of meat (marriage). Now of course these 2 things are important and heavily desired by men and women, but we all want to feel like the person wants us, more than the goal of sex or marriage.

So, here are some of the major reasons why people are getting rejected.

1. Too outspoken

Now honesty is a great thing, in small bites. Think about your daily interactions and how things might go if you were 100% honest every minute of the day? Not pretty is it? But at the same time I’m not suggestion you lie to people either.

We just have to be careful about what we say, and how much we say. Typically a person who talks on and on about themselves will be a turn off to both men AND women. This also applies to being too crude or critical about others. It always comes across between when you try and put a positive spin on things.

2. “Nice guys finish last”

We’ve all heard this before. But what does it mean? If you’re thinking you have to be a jerk to get women’s attention, then you’ve missed the boat. Don’t worry ladies. This message applies to you as well. Nice in this context means someone who is too nice, a pushover.

Someone like this will do for others always before themselves and thus relationships are unbalanced. They are always the giver and never give an opportunity for others to give. These people also often choose needy people to interact with because they feel better about themselves by giving.

There needs to be balance. Women won’t respect a man who they can walk all over, and without respect there won’t be any chemistry. We’ve seen this happen many times before. There’s a guy who’s very generous and good to his friends and family, wonderful father, but for some reason the wife isn’t satisfied and wants to find someone else.

Giving only goes so far and if both aren’t giving, then things will fall out of balance. It’s only natural to take advantage of and abuse things when they make themselves too readily available. When was the last time you were thankful for a breath of air?

What does this mean for women? How can women be too nice? It’s great to laugh at a man’s jokes and make him feel like a man, but there is such a thing as too much. By giving a man everything and always being the giver, you may become his bread ad butter. But, eventually he’s going to say, “where’s the beef?”

3. Being direct (or lack of)

Being too direct can definitely be a problem. Women enjoy subtlety and being teased. If you’re too direct it can be off putting and appear too cocky or arrogant. Give a woman the time to consider the possibility before you step to the plate.

It may not always be best to immediately say how attractive you find a woman, and then ask for her number so you can take her out. She’s literally had no time to think about it, and you haven’t really left her with anything. So guess what? You will be getting a fake number, or none at all.

You want to have a light, humorous conversation. It always leaves a great impression when you have a conversation with someone you just met, and the two of you just click. This would be an ideal time to ask for a number or some way to contact her so you can get together some time.

You’ve already established some level of comfort and at this point things could lead to a friendship or something more. So it will leave her guessing.

A lack of directness can be something that women are at fault of. Things are always best when they follow a natural flow. But if the man you’re interested in isn’t quite following you, it will only help to clue him in. Sure a bit of subtlety and teasing is wonderful.

But if a man doesn’t meat your expectations because he isn’t aware of them, he’s more likely reject you. He may very well have love what you had in mind, but if you want him to read your mind, you’re better off calling the psychic hotline.

4. The initiative

Taking the initiative is something women always complain men don’t do enough of. Women want you to step up to the plate, have been paying attention, and make a good solid decision. Women want a leader, not a follower, and a good leader can make decisions as well as listen to the group, and show them that their input is valuable. The other side of this is being receptive and encouraging this behavior.

Like all things if someone is positive, receptive and encourages you to do well, you’ll put your best foot forward. The same holds true for men in this instance. If you find that men don’t take enough initiative then you should encourage them to do so.

Many men like to feel that they are doing right by their family. They want to support their women, and know they are steering the ship, and doing a good job. Now while a captain is important on a ship, what use is he without his crew?

So, if you want your man to take more initiative, you should be more receptive and supportive to it. People are only human and make mistakes. So when he leads and doesn’t get things right, you can still let him know you had a good time, while making sure he knows what you like and would want to try in the future.

Communication is key. When a leader, and those they lead are in constant communication, they are well aware of each other’s needs. This allows the captain to make well informed choices, and also allows the crew to support him even when his choices are not perfect.

So, if you find yourself getting angry or upset at men, when their leadership skills fall short, do you really expect him to get back up and do a better job? Remember, leadership (and initiative) is not just about the captain, but the ability of captain and crew to work well together, and have a balanced relationship.

5. Desperation

This comes as no surprise. Desperation turns everyone off, men and women. When desperate you’re more inclined to do whatever it takes to succeed. The qualities men and women find attractive in each other typically spell out a person who is in a situation to have or find many options, which is the exact opposite of desperate.

Desperation usually has the tendency to give someone a lack of confidence, extreme nervousness, being too nice (remember the nice guy?), and appear less attractive (among many other things. On the other side many overcompensate for these short comings, and this also is a turn off. When you’re at a place in your life where you’re happy and enjoying yourself people naturally enjoy being with you, because they want a taste.

If you’re feeling down because life is too harsh without a man or woman in your life, this will naturally bring others down as well. So learning about yourself and doing what makes you happy goes far beyond dating advice, it’s something that will enrich your whole life as well as those around you!

6. They’re taken!

Not much you can do in this situation. Sometimes the person you desire is already in a relationship. If you really liked the person your best bet would be to honestly get to know them as a friend.

7. Bad timing!

Sometimes the timing just isn’t good. The person may appear very attractive at first glance but could be having a lot of problems that day or just at that particular point in their life. This is definitely not a good time to start a relationship. Not only are they not ready for you, and the relationship, but you shouldn’t be too eager about starting one with someone in this situation either.

8. You’re just not their type

You’re just not their type. We all have some sort of preference when it comes to the type of person we find attractive, that’s no secret. Women typically prefer men to be tall, or taller than they are (6 foot is a common desire for a man’s height).

Men are typically attracted to a woman with curved or an hour glass shape. Now the size of those curves can vary from individual to individual, but most men agree to finding attraction in those curves. There are a whole host of other things we find attractive in others. Many of these things you can’t do much about, while others we do have some control over.

9. Lost opportunity

This happens when we’re too scared or nervous to approach or make our intentions known to the person. This can be with someone we haven’t met, or someone we’ve known for a long time. But a HUGE reason for not finding someone is because it’s so much easier to chicken out, and walk away rather than put ourselves on the line and make an approach.

This is not something that just happens once in a while. It happens more often than not. Think 80% of the time or more. It’s no surprise women don’t approach as much as men. It’s just easier to let men do the approaching. We already expect and teach men to approach. So if a woman doesn’t have a date, it’s because men aren’t approaching anymore.

Well things have changes and women are now starting to realize missed opportunities by relying on men to take the initiative. And if you think about it, if men and women are both asking each other out with high frequency everyone would have a lot more opportunities to find someone. So even though it doesn’t feel like it at the moment. A rejection is often better than an opportunity lost. You can’t always win, but at least you tried!

10. Body Language and physical contact

This is as important as anything else. No one likes someone who comes on too fast, unless you’re just looking for a real good time tonight. However, no one likes a cold fish either. Men and women are both responsible for the amount and frequency of physical contact and the kind of body language they show. These things give us a clue to the kind of person you’re talking to, as well as how interested they are.

This is about listening, observing and responding. When we slowly ease our way closer to someone, it shows interest without being overzealous. This is the green light for both men and women. If the person you’re with is doing this and you’re interested, it’s time to reciprocate.

Something else that’s important to note is how nervous the person is feeling. Both men and women get nervous, but if you can tell the person likes you, and you’re interested in the type of person they are you will only stand to benefit by helping them relax and open up.

We always like others who make us feel more comfortable, so by helping someone come out of their shell will likely increase their attraction for you!

A lot of success can be had by listening and paying attention to people. A lot of times we give out signals that give simple hints as to how well things are going. Also, a lot of rejection and bad moments can be avoided if we simply communicate more, are more receptive, as well as supportive of the person we’re with. Think how it feels to be on the opposite side of the situation. A little encouragement can go a long way!

Above all relax, and have fun. When you’re having a good times, others want to join the fun!

Posted in General Dating
37 comments on “10 Reasons Why You’re Getting Rejected
  1. LArry says:

    Its amazing the amount of pressure placed on me. They are literally forced to bend and mold themselves into some image of acceptability. He can’t be too this or too that. He is asked to be everything but himself. Women often talk of men not showing their emotions. But if he does, he’s too “sensitive”. And that’s a ‘turnoff’. Yet, women can be any way they want. No one questions their behaviour. These articles are very degrading to men and only help to show the level of oppression that men must endure. And people have the nerve to ask why the male suicide rate is so high. Well.. with so many expectations and a society that judges me so harshly for even the most minor of infractions. It is easy to see how a LIVING being would cope facing the possibilities of utter rejection and loneliness in his entire life, simply because he chose to be human.

    Women are to blame for this as is society as a whole. Things will only continue to get worse.

  2. Fran says:

    Larry, you’re a bit wrong…Women have just as much, if not more pressure put on them. If we do not look perfect and have a perfect body (with and without makeup), we are ugly and non-dateable.
    Do we initiate contact? Do we wait for him? There’s no telling.
    Do we enourage him to show chivalry? Do we pay for the date? WE DON’T KNOW.
    If we are not positive, encouraging, sweet, humble, and happy-go-lucky, we come on as too strong. However, some women can be “pushovers”, just like some men.
    We have just as much pressure on us.
    The suicide rate for women is just as high, dude.

    It sounds like you had a bad experience with a woman, and I’m sorry for that. But, I’ve had bad experiences with men.

    I don’t blame men for this happening. I blame “society as a whole”. Men and women are equally to blame. You have no right to blame us women just because you’ve had some bad experiences. I’m sorry for whatever happened, I really am, but you don’t.

  3. Ted says:

    Larry is correct about the suicide rate. From the National Institute of health:

    Are women or men at higher risk?
    Suicide was the seventh leading cause of death for males and the fifteenth leading cause of death for females in 2007.
    Almost four times as many males as females die by suicide.
    Firearms, suffocation, and poison are by far the most common methods of suicide, overall. However, men and women differ in the method used, as shown below.
    Suicide by: Males (%) Females (%)
    Firearms 56 30
    Suffocation 24 21
    Poisoning 13 40

  4. richard says:

    Marshall McLuhan once said “the media is the message” in other words this generation of women have been influenced to a huge degree by what they have seen in the print/video medium—if you don’t “fit” a certain sterotype–i.e tall, good looking, successful than they won’t give you the time of day!!!! Now we have stupid reality shows like the “bachelor” that send a “subliminal” message to young girls/women that if a guy isn’t 6’2″/athletic/”drop dead gorgeous” doesn’t earn $100k + than he isn’t worth bothering with!!!

  5. Suzie V says:

    Fran is right on with what she is saying… women wear make up and have to have cute and nice boobs… just to get passed the first date! while men don’t have to do too much..

  6. Steven says:

    For Fran,

    I guarantee your “bad” experiences with men go something along these lines: you turned your nose up at all tons of guys because they didnt fit your “hot, athletic, rich” criteria. Then you found your guy who did fit that criteria and he turned out to be an asshole (surprise, surprise). And after he ditched you, you still went out looking for the “hot, athletic, rich” guy..and the cycle repeated itself again and again.

    For Larry,

    I get where youre coming from dude, if youre like me you “settled” for the average chick and guess what….IT STILL WASNT GOOD ENOUGH FOR THEM! One little detail and it was enough for them to say “oh, he just isnt my type” Yeah, there are definitely days where suicide seems like a great idea. The thought of growing old, alone is scary as hell. Im well on my way. Just turned 30 and I can see that my chances of ever finding happiness are slowly dwindling away. It hurts, it hurts fiercely.

  7. Joan says:

    I agree with Fran. Also men seem to prefer short women these days- tall women are left on the shelf. Not so sure about hourglass, but skinny women seem to be much more attractive to men.

    So the short, skinny women are getting a lot of action. For other women available/interested men are scarce on the ground.

  8. dave says:

    So you see, Ted, Fran, like many women, is so READY to make a point with wrong information in order to get you to her point of view.
    If men tend to see things in “BLACK AND WHITE”, then men better prepare for the worst communication headaches ever
    invented, if you try to approach a woman.
    Let the women approach, at least you have some inkling that they are interested, and save yourself a real headache.

  9. dave says:

    Well, maybe the tide has turned! Fewer and fewer men are approaching women, probably because they are fed up with these double standards. If women had to approach, then they would learn about rejection and have to treat men better.
    Maybe that would be better for everybody.

  10. unknown says:

    I do agree with what most of you guys and gals are saying. And yes Richard that is 100% true that the media makes people think this way but not all people. And this also includes in other behaviours not just this issue.

  11. dave says:

    Let the women make the approaches. After they have had their taste of rejection, they will learn some respect for men. Oh? Women do not want to be the ones beng rejected?

  12. Leaving this empty says:

    Ok, from a girl who is always rejected, I always make the first move, and I always end up getting rejected. And there is another girl who dates pretty much everyone at some point. And she doesn’t even make the first move! So I have to agree with Fran, sorry

  13. umm.... says:

    Wow it just goes to show you that post modern feminism is making both genders turn on each other then becoming equals here in North America….. but I believe this situation can go both ways I mean no one here would prefer someone who is less intelligent, more bigger, and is not financially stable then them…..

    But I totally agree that hardcore feminists today creep the hell out of me! They aren’t even following the rules that the first wave and second wave of feminists laid out for them! Which is EQUAL rights not TAKING OVER the world!

  14. Dario says:

    I can’t begin to contemplate the complexity of what all of you just said and I’m pretty smart too. Hurts my modesty to say that though. I think after reading at least most of your writings that a huge factor in relationships is being to quick to blame someone one else for your mistakes. With me I probably take more blame then I should but It seems better then putting it all on others. If a relationship fails it’s cause it’s not meant to be. Not saying it’s an act of God but rock solid logic states that a women supporting pacifism probably isn’t going to go for the violent type. There’s no need to change yourself just yet. Better to move on. “Love is accepting another for who they really are and the willfulness to change yourself when it is necessary’ It only works when both sides work in tandem and the infatuation is mutual.

  15. Cancerianman says:

    At least women can do something to fulfill the desires of the assholes they’re attracted to. Like get breast implants, starve run and puke until they trim some fat off their asses, dress like sluts and slather on more makeup to hide imperfections. But what hope does a short man have to impress these greedy and insatiable darwinist females? Im 5’11 and i feel short because of all this 6 foot minimum bullshit. Even the shortest and tiniest girls go for the beanstalk man of 6’3+. It makes for the most awkward couple ever but since women read stupid articles like this all the time, their childish and competative natures just make them want want WANT!!!
    Men go for the shorter women too because most women today watch just as much porn as guys and have slept with far too many guys so they know how a lot of sizes feel and look and its a fact that they prefer bigger penises. Its a goal of the modern floozie to land an “endowed man”. So the chances of a tall guy “filling out” a short girl are much higher. Thats why we like short girls. (And women probably like tall men because of the hopes of their penises being proportional to their height).. so women did it to themselves with all the penis bashing. karma is a bitch isnt it?? Most of us can feel big with the short ones.. im nearly 7 inches and i only go for the short girls. No complaints so far.. So The tall ones? No thanks. No chance of filling that meat abyss. Leave them for the NBA.

  16. Ms. Who says:

    Hmm…after reading many of the comments here, it sounds like a great majority of you are blaming other people for why things don’t work out. That already negates the whole “be positive” thing, plus I don’t really see how one could have a healthy relationship with all that negative emotion pent up. How would you feel about a woman if she told you she hated men? You wouldn’t like her. Likewise, if you blame women for everything, women aren’t going to like you. Furthermore, you can’t change much about the outside world, so your best bet is to look at yourself and improve yourself. AND don’t fear getting rejected. It hurts, yes, but it is just like playing a sport…you keep plugging away at your goal and eventually you’re going to hit it head on. The only way to do that is through practice, patience, and perseverance. And as the article says, it is better to get rejected than to lose opportunities. Women and men should both do this and not worry about being rejected. Recognize that it hurts, let it hurt, and then move on. Don’t get angry and blame everyone else for your problems.
    Also, what is up with these sweeping generalizations about what men want and what women want. NO ONE WANTS THE SAME THING. I dated a series of short guys (5’5″ to 5’7″) and that is my preference (I am 5’5″). But that doesn’t mean I won’t date outside of that range. But I can tell you this…I strongly dislike negativity. And that seems to be all you commenters here are throwing, so…you all might want to think on that–how your own unattractive and negative attitudes are ruining things for you.

  17. not a ladies man says:

    im a guy and i agree with fran about how its hard for women but it is also hard for guys too. Women want men who are strong sensative and rich and men want women who are beutiful (and other stuff) its a fact that most people are first attracted towards eachother by looks. women have it harder because they have to look the best they can maby even beyond that. men we just have to make our selfs look presentable, and stay in shape. Thats all i have to say thank you

  18. Siera says:

    I think that allot of people just need to relax… alone. Sure, I never get approached and it’s all because of the way I look. People think that I’m gothic when they have never even seen a goth in their life. I don’t have anything against goths, but apparently other people do. People are avoiding me for something I’m not. I’ve heard this way too many times to think otherwise. In this world filled with ignorance I’m sure there is someone. Im tired of looking. I’m sure those people are too. Am I happy without a special someone in my life? Yeah sure. And If you guys can get over your state of loneliness you can be perfectly happy. You got to wait it out and quit trying so hard. Be you, not what the opposite gender wants you to be. Many people are tired of all the hypocrites out their and want somebody that is real. You can enjoy life and not think about it or spend your life in desperation. Did I change your mind?……no? Ok. I bet I gave you a headache…… Yeah? Ok. I’ll let you wait that out and be lonely and sad. Also, I tried to summarize my thoughts and it turned into a giant mess. I am fully aware. Are you still reading this? I can’t even read this without falling asleep partially. Enjoy whatever is enjoyable!!!

  19. ANDY says:

    ALL you women are wrong. no way can you judge us like that because of our height . that’s not taste that’s evil. God made us this way. stop looking at 6ft tall men. im 5′ 6 and im just as good as he is …. yes I don’t get women. im not going to grow either I think it would be easier for you so called ladies to grow up them me to be 6′

  20. Lara says:

    Society doesn’t or should I say shouldn’t expect anyone to bend & mould around what everyone else wants; the pressure isn’t just on men but some women also. It’s just that you’re not their sort of person of appeal. Everyone has rights to their opinion & it’s the same in the dating world – the “10 Reasons why…” are just guidelines of things that tend to bother a lot of people in excess… if you get rejected then that’s fine… shrug it off & try again – maybe they just weren’t the right person for you… I am about 20yrs old, about to have a baby to a man a year older than me but the catch was: the pregnancy was not planned & I fell pregnant within one week of us going out… We both absolutely (excuse my language) s*** each other to tears constantly & even though we’re not together anymore (broke up after 2 months) we’re still sticking together for the baby’s sake even just as friends… so even though we’re both a huge pain in each other’s bottoms, there are ways of working around things no matter what type of relationship you do or don’t have & you can do it without hiding who you really are… just be yourself & when the time is right then your Mr. or Miss. Right might just come along… try & enjoy the ride & don’t force anything… you can be keen for companionship but if you start getting desperate or obsessive then you may just scare away your chance… take it easy & take it as it comes, what’s meant to be comes in time…

  21. Lara says:

    ps. height doens’t matter… well at least I don’t think it should… I agree that yes a lot of women are cruel & over judgemental but men can be too… it’s the same as the fact that I go through the city with an almost 7 month baby bump & I have 12 piercings in my face which I’m taking out before the baby is born ( includes two earings in each ear…) I get judged & people aren’t nice sometimes with their opinions but you have to just shrug it off & just be you – I feel no reason to justify to everyone why I have piercings & that I will be taking them out… it’s who I am & nothing can be done about it; so please don’t go faking who you are just to fit in, be accepted or just ’cause someone else doesn’t like something about you… you’re perfect just the way you are & oneday you’ll find someone who believes you are perfect in every way & will love you for you… be yourself & don’t forget that you don’t have to put on an act if that’s not who you really are…

  22. Amy says:

    Notice how almost all the comments from the men are snide and aggressive– perhaps that’s why you’re having trouble with the ladies?? Geez. Wouldn’t touch that negativity with a 10-foot pole 0_o. The most unattractive thing in the world is that type of attitude, not the baldness, shortness, etc.

  23. Bunny says:

    At first I thought this would worth reading but turned out different. I’ll be honest and say that when I younger (a teen) all I wanted was that happy like that included marriage, kids and the perfect home the whole 9. But then I had to make adjustments to that because not only did it never happen, I turned out to be so uninteresting to the opposite sex. I’ve been friendzoned and rejected as far as I can remember. Now being on my late 20s I still get rejected and friendzone. Only thing different as a teen it was because I wasn’t “made” properly oppose to now not wanting to accept being used for sex or lately just a blowjob.

    I attract the creeps. I know it, but those are the guys I immediately friendzone or reject. The nice decent guys are already married or call me insufferable, not good enough or say how some man has to be crazy and insane to be with me. Yet their woman is the one acting and resembling Godzilla. I can also I eventually gave up on that marriage want and water to have someone for the sake of anything and I still get nothing. Seriously I had to wonder if I should be gay because of always being rejected. No dates, no boyfriends nothing. When I find someone I’m attracted to and ask what theyre looking for, I get told “well it’s not you.” But it’s not one race or particular age group. It’s been all kinds of men. If I’m not offering a sexual favor I’m considered useless or stingy. Like wtf it’s a vagina not a bakers dozen of cookies. I’m not going to share it with a married man, or one who want nothing more but add on to his calender girl collection.

    Now I’m like screw relationships and love Itried the next time will work method and still got nothing. I’m better off single, least I still have my dignity and self worth. It might seem jaded or jagged. But how do you recover from always being rejected and told you’re never going to be good enough even by the one you fall in love with?? You just don’t it’s not possible.

  24. MareBear says:

    I’m just gonna be honest, I’ve been single for quite a while. The good guys I do meet are clingy and suffocating, which is very offsetting after about 2 weeks. I’m a relationship sort of girl, but haven’t had much luck meeting someone who’s looking for the same thing, or at least not with me. It’s not always about looks and personality… I know full well there’s nothing wrong with me. So at this point I’ve embraced being single. As long as you can get laid every once in awhile… Not ashamed. That definitely hasn’t been an issue. However it’s one thing to be real, honest, and up front about it versus being told by someone what they think you want to hear.

  25. alyssa says:

    So, because someone gets nervous around someone they like, it means they are desperate?

    I have to disagree with you there. We all get nervous. I get nervous. I got very nervous around the person I liked… not because I’m desperate but because I thought very highly of him and cared what he thought about me.

    does that make me desperate? No.

    If I was desperate… I’d have offered him a b*** job after class so that I could maintain my A without having to work hard for it.

    that’s desperate.

  26. WTF says:

    WTF? You’re all wrong. dont approach anyone, ever. As for those who tell you to better yourself first, they dont understand that you cant, or you would have in the first place. Anyone who tells you that rejection is better than a missed opportunity is an idiot. Move over to the nearest wall, now start bashing your head against it, does it hurt? Dont worry keep plugging away and it will get better soon i promise!

  27. DivineAffinity says:

    A true relationship with God is far more fulfilling than any relationship you could ever have with that person you think is cute. Get a relationship with God going first, and then let your faith in his plans for you bring someone into your life. Possible rejection is reduced, no more need to look perfect, no need to be someone you arent, no more worry.

  28. emmie says:

    Lots of you have spoken well,except some people(obviouly).i personally access my current status in the dating game my trying to approach girls and see how they act around me,i feel more confident when they’re nervous,and when they’re not,i try to calm myself down by being a lil funny with whats going on at that moment.Although i have not faced much rejections,but when i get turned down by a girl,it makes me figure out what i did wrong and when next i meet an ‘hourglass’ type of girl,i always hit the bulls eye,so the former rejection becomes a blessing in disguise.My suggestion is that guys should not see rejection from girls as negativity but rather a learning tool by figuring out how attraction works,and what actually works for them the next time they approach ugly betty or miss curve.

  29. Rios says:

    I have simply replaced American Women with FOREIGN WOMEN.

    American Women cannot compete with FOREIGN WOMEN. In addition, FOREIGN WOMEN are very feminine, friendly and approachable, just like I love my women.

    As for American Women, they are “too independent, masculine and not very friendly nor approachable.”

    Guys, read the book “Men on Strike.”

    Also guys, travel overseas, meet lots of foreign women and incorporate global dating as part of your lives.

    Meeting and dating foreign women will change your perspective on American Women, Life and Love.


  30. Eve says:

    The reality is, there will always be people who will be single forever, men and women. That will never change, despite the media always presenting ideal images of couples all the time. Jane Austen made fun of the societal pressure on women to get married and avoid being an ‘old maid’ in her books. In real life, she was an ‘old maid!’ But she didn’t care, because she had fulfilling work as a writer, and family and friends. In many ways, she was more progressive than this regressive outlook the media has now. There are other things in life, rather than this ‘desperate search for a soulmate.’ Enjoy what you can out of life, and have a sense of humour about things, and you’ll be happier! 🙂

  31. Seriously says:

    most of the women out there nowadays are so Very Sad And Pathetic to begin with, and like to play hard too get. It is Very Obvious why many of us Good Men can’t meet a real Good One today, and they certainly do need to Grow Up.

  32. The Real Answer says:

    what is very sad is that many of the women out there will Reject us men, especially the ones that think there God’s gift to men. What Losers.

  33. This is coming from an AMERICAN woman... says:

    These comments were extremely painful to read.

    I’m a young female, turning sixteen a little later this month. It irks me that so many men…no scratch that… BOYS complain about us being hard to get. If we’re too straight forward you either don’t notice, or get scared and run away. I’ve always had this issue, so long distance relationships are the only ones that have ever worked for me.

    On the society thing, men are just as bad off as woman. Men have to worry about their muscle, their height, their hair, as do woman. We are pretty equal in that aspect, we’re just too afraid to say it. No one has it harder and no one has it better.

    Feminism is horrible, and it shouldn’t exist. Putting men down in life just so a woman can get higher? That’s fucked up. Nothing about feminism is good, Hell, the word FEM is in it. Should we just make a malisism for all the sexist guys out there too?

    Holy shit, if you hate how men/woman treat you then go gay! There is no reason to whine and moan about how someone of a gender treats you. IF YOU ARE REALLY GOING TO GROUP A GENDER UP THEN JUST CHANGE YOUR SEXUALITY? There is no reason to say all men are “monsters”, and there’s no reason to say all woman are “bitchy” There’s no reason.

    Woman have trouble approaching men because as I said earlier, you wouldn’t like it. I have NOT been in a relationship since fifth grade. Do I have a bad personality? No. It’s just that most men are turned off by the fact that I wear men’s clothes, adore Jason Voorhees, and HATE makeup. If we don’t play hard to get, you wont want us. I’ve had it happen to me so many times and it hurts.

    About friendzoning? That’s a load of bullshit. If you can’t keep your penis/vagina in your pants long enough to get to know someone close enough, then they are not yours to have. Friendships usually go onto relationships. There is no reason to be harassing a man/woman just because they don’t want a relationship with you. They don’t have to like you.

    I have been spending years looking for a sensitive, emotional, and kind man who digs the shit out of horror movies and video games. But to no avail, I’ve had no luck finding them. But I keep my hopes up and my head high. I will eventually find the one perfect for me, even if I keep running into these not-so-good people along the way. Not all woman are the same and not all men are the same.

    Most of these comments are aggressive and terribly sexist, it’s no wonder SOME of you people couldn’t find any woman/men that would date you.

  34. Veronica says:

    There is also an other angle of rejection. Be happy to get rejected straight at the beginning because there is something worse than a simple rejection. Wost than rejection is being in a long term relationship (6 + years) with someone who is not fully commited to that relationship. That is a a slow but sure way to rip a persons self esteem apart and the recovery can take a very long time. I spent 8 years in such a relationship and it took me another 4 years to be able to move on (emotionally).

    Everybody has to be aware that people have preferences who they want to date and who they do not want to date (these preferences change over time) and someone who says rejection is a very sad thing is in only 2% right. In 98% can be that person extremly happy becuase was not stringed along with false hopes and was not losing a precious time of life. Being in a relationship in which the other person can sense that a GF or BF is not commited (hovewer told the opposite by the loved one) does not mean happines and the lost time cannot be reverted.

    Rejection is part of dating life and surely it is better to get rejected than miss the opportunity. The problem is people start to think bad about themself when rejected. Stop it and read a book written by Marisa Peer about selfesteem: Ultimate Confidence. Rejected people have to to stop to be selfish and hate the person who rejected them. They should be happy about it and move on to another target. They have just to make sure not to spend too much time with thinking. Let me tell you that you can be the best person on earth but when someone does not percieves you as good enoght for him/her to date you, you cannot make much about it. Do not lose time with such a person (be happy you gain experience for free), move on ASAP and do notstay unhappy for longer than 1 day. That person would make you just very unhappy!!! Everybody who is sad becuase does not have a GF or BF, just ask yourself: do you want to be unhappy and have a person by your side who makes you even more unhappy? I guess not therefore keep looking, pursue your other goals in life and make youself within your possibilities attractive as much as you can. Each person has outstanding qualities but preferences differ.

    I learned it the hard way but stop focus all your energy on finding the “soulmate” and focus on yourself and things you like and make you happy. Happines draws people to each other like moths are drawn to light.

    I am not a native spaeker so I am sorry for my English. I hope my experince helps at least a few people. The above comment comes from a 33 years old woman who is told by other people to be very attractive. I look after myself and love sport. I am a very kind person, well educated, speak a few languages and I am financially stable. Hovewer I met a very bad boy who was using me (and I let it happen) I still love men. It is much more difficult to meet singles after 30 but not impossible so guys and girls keep looking and make youself happy:) Good luck!

  35. Anonymous says:

    Amy you do have a point about being negative. These men are doing this for they get rejected a lot which isn’t nice at all. Sometimes destroys their confidence. Just be very polite which is all I’m asking when u reject a guy. So men don’t feel as bad about it.

  36. darren says:

    Call a spade a spade and if someone doesnt like truth be known then they aint worth knowing anyway.
    same goes for being honest to those that are doing wrong around you. better to tell them than say nothing and let them continue to act like a fool.
    truth does hurt but trying to pick and choose when to tell the truth and be brutally honest is only a lie in itself

  37. Anthony says:

    i don’t approach women anymore. Coming from a 15 yo boy. I’m a very respectful, scrupulous and playful guy who has crossed out dating from his life for some reasons… First of all, my first crush was a very shy unsociable girl who would never smile or dare to talk to me face to face. I stayed with her for 4 months hoping for a change, but the result was depressing. And as you might expect, I broke up with her. My second crush “gf” was an amazing extrovert who socializes with everyone while maintaining a very appropriate behaviour. Over time, she gave me the hammer. Why? Cause I was chubby. So for all you guys start by being fit cause no girl would fall for you (unless you are in the marriage stage, then it is possible). After that depressing stage, I decided to lose weight and work on my body…( and I did) After time, when I was fit and more confident, I asked a 3rd girl. She rejected me. I repeat, I am a scrupulous, respectful, and fit guy who was rejected by a (fat) (vulgar) girl who I liked. Why did I like her? Well she would always flirt with me (blush, state at me from time to time, etc…) and finally I fell for her. The result was the worst of my life, she said no with no hesitation, she literally didn’t care. Although this was a bad experience, the depression lead me to begin writing poetry and philosophy, and now most girls who I know appreciate my talent (unlike the fake guy friends). So guys. In conclusion, some girls are like this, others are like that, I have been through situations where I began researching about suicide methods, but remember, there are 8billion people on this earth. so basically, these days, I think a hundred times before thinking of a girl, I consider the many scenarios that might possibly happen because sometimes it’s not worth asking a girl out if you know she’s going to reject you, and the result will be an extra wound right there on your heart, and a memory that disgusts you.
    (Sorry for any grammar mistakes, I’m rushing through this) and if anyone wants to contact me for advice or anything please do contact me at anthonybrianhanna@gmail.com

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