The point of asking your boyfriend questions is to get to know him better. But generally speaking, you should ask questions in order to see what kind of a man he is, not in order for him to tell you what you want to hear. This is something that creates a lot of problems and often results in men zipping their lips.
Never ask a man, what he would do if you died. Questions like these immediately cause men to assume you do NOT want to hear the truth. The truth is, people move on, and find someone else. It’s the healthy thing to do. But when a man hears this question he immediately thinks you want to hear something romantic, and unrealistic. So he feels trapped and doesn’t want to answer because he feels he’s being asked to promise something he can’t keep.
So, asking questions not only tells you about your man, but also tells him about you. So be careful in how you approach questions.
It’s good to know what he does for a living. But if there’s no sincerity or interest in his dreams, then it appears like you just want his money.
1. How old were you (and her) when you first fell in love? (get details about how it went)
This is a good opportunity to learn of his first love and perhaps how it has influenced future relationships.
2. Are you close with your family? (mother, father, siblings?)
Is he a good son, and sibling? Is he a mama’s boy? Can he stand up for himself? This show how balanced as well as how strong he is as a man.
3. What’s your biggest fears/phobias?
We all have fears. This is where you can show him how compassionate you are. So never make fun of his fear. Instead, help him.
4. Ever drink? smoke? do drugs?
This is good to know if you like to party and do these things as well, or if you have issues with substances.
5. Do you believe in love at first sight?
Everyone views love differently. Don’t worry if you don’t have the exact same views on love. Just take this time to understand how he feels. If you can understand this, you’ll also understand the choices he makes.
6. What are your feelings abut marriage, children, and family?
This may not be the best thing to ask on a first date, and should be asked with great care. It is important to ask this, but if a woman is not careful, she will make her man feel like all she wants is a sperm donor, and a mule to give her a good life and provide for her children. Of course this is usually not a woman’s intention, but this is how men feel when women ask it too soon, or are too aggressive with this kind of question.
7. What religion do you follow/What are the major beliefs that guide your life?
This is a big question to ask your man. religion is a very big part of many peoples lives. If you are a firm believer, or a casual one, a religious person, a practical person, or a philosopher. What you believe says a lot about you, your goals, and how you tackle life. We don’t always need for these things to be identical, but there should be some similarities between your beliefs.
8. What things do you like, and turn you on sexually?
Sex is an important part of all adult relationships. But we’re all different. Some are confident and strong, while others need to feel comfortable and need their desires teased out. No one likes to be put down for their sexual tastes. So, be open and listen to what he likes.
9. Have you ever done something that you’ve always regretted?
Most of us have regrets, this is a nice question, because it lets you in on some of the wild or stupid things he’s done in the past. It can be anything from a great story, or something to look out for in case it happens again.
10. How do you feel about traditional gender roles?
This is a question that’s more important than many people know. For some it’s obvious, with others, you won’t know until you’re married. It affects everything from how you talk, argue, money management, sex, and communication, etc. So make sure to ask this one. It lets you know what kind of woman he wants, and the man he feels he should be.
Questions are great to ask, and they each have their place. Remember ladies, all you hear about men being scared of commitment is a lie. Now, there are some men and women who are scared of this, but most are not. When women come on too strong about wanting commitment, men feels trapped, cheap, and unloved as women do when a man wants sex too soon. Of course women want sex, but they also want to feel that their man truly loves her first… unless it’s just a fling or 1 night stand.
So remember, ask questions with sincerity and with an open and accepting mind. Men will reveal a lot to a woman they feel is truly interested in what they have to say!